By Rodasi Amanda Campbell
I tried to write about the moon and some pagan holidays including Valentine’s Day but all that kept coming up was my new experiences of love and abundance. There was zero energy for me to put into the other subject matter. So…I’m writing about love and abundance. Both are greatly in my awareness lately. They exist simultaneously, a part of the same fabric. They are not things that are created, obtained or achieved. Love and abundance are filling your senses, your mind, your spirit, your world – right now.
Some of you may argue and some of you may agree. I don’t care about either. Agreement and disagreement exists in the mind. Love and abundance exist outside the realm of decision-making and beliefs. Love and abundance are in existence no matter what it seems like is going on. If you are invested in these appearing for you in a particular way, then that is your problem. The Universe continues to freely pour forth both in every moment in an unbroken way.
Your stillest, most silent part of Self already experiences this to be true. However much belief is built between the conscious mind and this experience, is the degree to which you will be able to tap into and eventually remain plugged into that flow of love and abundance. Who cares if you believe it or not? That is in the mind and it is a trap that leaves you open to the mind deciding in the next moment that there must be something else to do in order to get abundance and love. You’ve been on the hamster wheel for a while now. Ready to step off?
For many years, I placed love and abundance outside of myself. As I have begun to develop a deeper relationship to my inner Self – that silent, still part, it appears that within this Self, love and abundance are a part of my birthright. In this experience, they never have been apart from me. The inability to experience Abundance and Love has been deeply tied to the stories of my past which played heavy parts in my self-esteem and how I was showing up in the world. Playing small really serves no one. I don’t mean that I’ve got it all sorted and have arrived at a destination. But I am enjoying the unwinding – the journey, if you will. I see that whenever the old habit comes up for me to search outside of myself or this moment – what is right now, for love or abundance or for anything, I have the beautiful choice to stop it.
So do you.
It’s not enough to know all this is true. It isn’t enough for you to hear and agree with it. There is a deeply enriching, joyful and beautiful life waiting for you. One where you don’t get pissed off at stupid things out of your control (why doesn’t she love me? why aren’t I getting paid what I’m worth? when will the world see my true potential?) so frequently and instead be tickled by them. The existence you could have includes allowing for the love and abundance, the joy and the peace to reveal themselves to you and through you in places, ways and opportunities you couldn’t have drummed up. It requires courage to play as big as you are meant to be playing in your life. It requires perseverance to relinquish that voice in your head’s sway over you for a quiet space of trust inside of you. That takes some getting use to because we all come to this point addicted to thinking and knowing and having and doing and being. None of that serves us in this new life.
This new way of life is the purest, most innocent and passionate life because you don’t have it all planned out or all figured out. This new way of life includes being willing to live in the unknown, to rest there, to be continually fascinated and even amazed at what shows up. In this place you are clear that your desires are the desires of the divine and so could not be there if not. You also trust deeply that anything required to fulfill these desires is already on its way – how could it not be?
Look, I use to read this stuff and get jazzed about it, but that would wane, and I’d be back at me in the mirror. Sometimes it made me mad immediately and I’d have little tantrums about how nice this was for the author and how screwed up I must because I couldn’t get it right. All that nonsense is in the head. The experience of returning to love and abundance requires one to be still enough, letting go of the voice in the head that sounds like you long enough to touch the experience…let it have you…and be born again.
At first it is like a lover initiating the virgin to a loving, orgasmic, bliss. On the other side the post-virgin is in awe and life is rose-colored. There is truly a sense of initiation, of joining some unseen culture – the one of those who talked about the experience in front of you knowing full well you’d never know it until you tasted it for yourself. The sense is something like, “wow, I am part of the club.” The new way of life isn’t like a romantic love affair in that it does not require anyone else or anything else to connect and deepen the relationship with. It only requires the seemingly lost aspect of your Self that’s been waiting for you to turn inward and gaze upon it again. You haven’t been waiting for your soulmate, nor have you been awaiting a messiah – you’ve been awaiting yourself. You are the one you’ve been waiting for. You are the greatest love affair awaiting you. In that it’s easy to see abundance everywhere and it can shift from an abundance of need, want, lack, waiting and seeking to an abundance of bliss, love, peace, fulfillment, purpose, opportunities to serve and to know the living experience of an unwavering love affair with the most incredible lover.
Yes, you can have this experience. You have to put down your precious stories of woe – you are making them more real and more important than what you actually want. You are giving them the power – the illusory power, to stop you. Nothing inside or outside can stop you if you don’t let it. This will take stamina, vigilance and an authentic desire to wake up. If you are anything like me, it’s a tall order and it may scare you – good, let it. You can still experience this new life anyway. I’ve known exceptional terror on this path. I’ve turned around and looked some really scary monsters in the face and found a scared little girl who just wanted me to step up and become the queen I always dreamed I would be. She was waiting for her parents or a knight in shining armor to rescue her. She didn’t believe I could do it – because I kept abandoning her through the fearful excuses in my head that kept me playing small. No more. I’m sure some of you can relate?
You know, some suffering may need to ensue before you really turn it over to this new life. It does not have to be that way, but fear is an excellent motivator. Some of you are too comfortable to come to the edge and dance with me here – you don’t have to because you have a good life already. Well, the good life can only hide the real reason you are in a body for so long. Eventually you’ll join the rest of us on this magnificent edge – where the truly greatest love affair exists.
I’m in gratitude to a countless amount of people who have and who continue to support me in surrendering all mental limitation and to keep dancing on this edge of absolute freedom. It is an impossible place to be when living from your mind. My desire is for us all to be living from the heart. Not the emotional heart, but from the stillest, most silent aspect of ourselves. Here is where we are experiencing that pouring forth of love and abundance in us, around us and through us – but most importantly, as what we truly are. See you on the edge.
With an Abundance of big, big, Love – Rodasi